great, just love it!! ^_^
If you like that verse, I can say it is taken from a Sonata Arctica's song: Broken..
maybe you will like it!
Buy, and many compliments for your work..

--
England, you're my homeland.. the land of my heart..

"Looking down from Etherial skies, Silent crystalline tears I cry.. For all must say their last goodbye... To Paradise.."


My Site

ops, I wanted to say bye and I said buy, sorry..

--
England, you're my homeland.. the land of my heart..

"Looking down from Etherial skies, Silent crystalline tears I cry.. For all must say their last goodbye... To Paradise.."


My Site

Thank you for your compliment! Hehehe, that's funny about the title... my first, rather uninspired, tite for this poem was "Broken" I'd already made a preview picture, and only when I wrote the description, asking for better suggestions, did the current title come to me :]
Sonata Arctica's häppy metal isn't quite my sound, but I'm definitely gonna check out the lyrics now!

--
A wanderer in darkness, waiting for the misty morning fog
_{Like my poetry? Check out my photography at ~Ratafluke}

uhm, I think that is more correct to say that Sonata Arctica plays Power Metal..
I quite hate Happy metal, but Sonata Arctica's sound is a bit different..
So, Broken, surely, is not an happy metal song..

--
England, you're my homeland.. the land of my heart..

"Looking down from Etherial skies, Silent crystalline tears I cry.. For all must say their last goodbye... To Paradise.."


My Site

see now that's amazing. poetry is not about rhyming. it's about expressing emotion through few lines. i really like the style of this. i love the metaphor, the implications. i like how it all comes together towards the end. u bring in rose, eagle and sparrow. nice work imma watch u now. and i hope u put up some other stuff.

Like I already said you I really like it! Even if I don't like the end but we already discussed it and I'm glad that you told me another ending and so I will add it in my mind now! So fly sparrow fly and kick them all in their asses! And by the way I really like the little pumpkin plant and the sparrow so please have an eye on them and keep them safe! !

Thanks so much for your beautiful comment! =grugster didn't like the end that much... but it needs to be there. Firstly, two express my feelings, and then to round of the metaphor.

Too bad I'm so goddamn lazy... seems I'm only gonna upload stuff every few month. I have a hard time taking photos, and poems require even more effort. Ever since Easter I had the line "how can I be a child of flesh and blood / in a stone cold marble world" on my mind, but I never had the inspiration/perserverance to develop it into a full poem.

--
A wanderer in darkness, waiting for the misty morning fog
_{Like my poetry? Check out my photography at ~Ratafluke}

Thanks for your comment and your well-wishing! I'll do my best to keep the safe and well

--
A wanderer in darkness, waiting for the misty morning fog
_{Like my poetry? Check out my photography at ~Ratafluke}

Hehe, I call Power Metal Häppy Metal because it sound so obnoxiously happy
But then the lyrics of that song really don't sound happy at all...

--
A wanderer in darkness, waiting for the misty morning fog
_{Like my poetry? Check out my photography at ~Ratafluke}

HOLY SHIT this is good.
Goosebumps abound and I am SO making this a permanent fave of mine. Thank you ever so much for putting this up, this goes beyond showing potential, it is potential fulfilled to perfection.
I generally have at least a few things to say about any poem I happen to review, often just nitpicking and polishing (things I blithely ignore in my own work btw ), but this one is perfect as it is.

I was no unwanted weed
just a pumpkin seed
that didn't grow a rose.

The ungainliness of the pumpkin contrasts so starkly with the rose's universal symbolic meaning of beauty and grace that it captures and enraptures me from the very first line.

I was no cuckoo's egg
just a sparrow's egg
that never hatched an eagle.

Essentially a repetition of the message and theme of the first stanza, but certainly not redundant. In fact, equally striking.

Dutifully they watered me
every single drop poisoned
with unspoken disappointment
"You are no rose!"

And this is where the poem really starts to shine: how the imagery of the rose and the seed combine into the present day, how the poetic blends seamlessly into the profane.
The silent resentment in "You are no rose" in poignant, painful even. At least it is to me.

Dutifully I broke
every single sparrow's bone
with unspoken despair
"I am no eagle!"

And, relentlessly, it keeps getting better. The symbolic destruction of the sparrow, the self-denial because of the outspoken statement of what you are NOT instead of the reassurance of what you ARE...so terribly recognisable...

No rose grew, no eagle flew
a broken sparrow lies on the ground.

And that's the way of all self-denial, of all negative projection of other people's expectations...no rose, no eagle, and in the end, not even a sparrow.

DAYUM this one hurt. I for one think that's a good thing.

Thank you very very much for this one. Deffo a

Greetz

Jo (Just)

--
Bork! Bork! Bork!
(-Swedish Chef)