I've read it 5 times, and still can't grasp the complete meaning...
Shall I keep reading or is there no meaning?



Even though... I think I do like it.
But maybe it is as they say:
"Poetry is having sex with words"

--
"All art is quite useless" - Oscar Wilde
[link]

Visit my dragons:
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Well, if there is such thing as abstract poetry analoguous to abstract paintings, this is it. (Dadaism?) Have you read my comments to ~UncleBrazzie's when the bow breaks? My inspiration came from the phonetic flow of this poem, and two comments I'd written - I just combined them with respect to their sound and flow. UncleB's poem is much more skillfull in that respect, and he ended up with a meaning in the traditional sense. My poem is an exploration of sounds in form and content, whereby the form has abstracted the original content beyond recognition. My intention was to convey impression, not meaning.

to share their feelings broken by
to share the feelings broken by
to heal the feelings broken by

I'm wondering whether to edit that line. I already removed the in-rhyme of "share their" - I feel it distracts by making the reader wonder who "they" are, more than its sound helps the overall flow of the poem. I like "heal the feeling" better on the level of individual lines, but I believe the sounds flow better if the three inner lines are tied together by the "ay" sound.

Initially I also meant to include the sounds "briefly", "brightly", and "freakish". Since you read it five times to find the meaning I'm sure you are happy I haven't made it any longer. (BTW Thanks for the time you dedicated to my poem! :]) It just occured to me that I maybe should change the title to Bhalagdravitha - to focus the reader's attention more on the sound of random syllables instead of sending them down the track of trying to find a meaning.

Thans for checking out and liking :]

--
A wanderer in darkness, waiting for the misty morning fog
_{Like my poetry? Check out my photography at ~Ratafluke}

I'm affraid my critique on poetry will be limited to merely expressing my appreciation and my own outsider understanding of poetry. You have a strong grasp on the english language

Firstly i enjoy short poems, and your 5 lines are short and sweet each line is well written in a sense that one suspects a meaning is being conveyed even in an abstract approach (which is a combination i often find winning)

the initial lines appear to me like a conclusion, which captures attention throughout, and the lack of an obvious meaning paired with the implied presence of a meaning allows me to appreciate the less formal elements of the poem ( like abstract art ) the flow of the letters, the double use of the suffix: Ing before B on the first 2 lines works well, you have rhyme with "necessarily" and the final lines are really pleasing, "broken by, busted bow" and the words between don't distract, but more so with the use of "Beats" continues the rhythm of B's

I've read the poem by ~UncleBrazzie and fav-ed it. Now I understand your a bit better. And your right: poetry is not always about meaning, it has also much to do with sound and rhythm.

--
"All art is quite useless" - Oscar Wilde
[link]

Visit my dragons:
[link]

Thanks so much for the fav! I knew if anyone, then you would be likely to enjoy this mix of rhythm and abstraction. But I didn't expect a fav, not from you nor from anyone else ;] It resembles a little your own poems, but my "method" of abstraction from a comment reminded me even more of your recently developed method of visual abstraction from photos.

Yes, the "stop beats" even were "stop B's" in my first draft, but then I decided to add another T, as in "busted". You've looked right through the (lack of) meaning to appreciate the abstract sounds. I had no education in literature or art whatsoever (beyond school), and I think your comment is well-written. Almost more than I hoped for with this poem ;]

For this kind of poem I think you need more a general grasp of sounds, mor than a grasp of a particular language. But thanks for the praise

--
A wanderer in darkness, waiting for the misty morning fog
_{Like my poetry? Check out my photography at ~Ratafluke}

~UncleBrazzie told me once he even faved a Portuguese poem, even though he doesn't know a single word of the language. But he just liked the way the poem sounded :]

--
A wanderer in darkness, waiting for the misty morning fog
_{Like my poetry? Check out my photography at ~Ratafluke}

Hmm for me it's really difficult to say anything about this kind of "abstract" poetry. The text itself being more or less meaningless to me, it relies purely on rhythm, rhyme and metre. And when I read this poem aloud, it's like hearing music, albeit different. It's not music, but it touches the same... parts of the brain? Whatever

To be short: I like it for what it is, a musical gathering of sounds which is somehow not music. If that makes sense.

--
"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. " - Kahlil Gibran

Hmm for me it's really difficult to say anything about this kind of "abstract" poetry. The text itself being more or less meaningless to me, it relies purely on rhythm, rhyme and metre. And when I read this poem aloud, it's like hearing music, albeit different. It's not music, but it touches the same... parts of the brain? Whatever

To be short: I like it for what it is, a musical gathering of sounds which is somehow not music. If that makes sense.

--
"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. " - Kahlil Gibran

Bhalagdravitha...that's rich

I've toyed with dada for a while, and I always enjoyed the total and utter randomness of it. Like action painting, it allows you to just forsake reason and go for all-out FX. The FX being auditive rather than visual here.

I've since grown a bit disenchanted by dadaism and the likes, because for me, words are more than sounds. Sure, sound is essential in poetry (which is probably why it's hard for us Western folk to really appreciate untranslated oriental poetry), but for me -and this goes especially for the English language- the sound is enhance by the meaning of the word itself. It's not just do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do, where the sequence and pitch define the melody. Instead it's a certain charging of each note with extra meaning, which allows for more potent imagery. This I found to be missing in dadaism, and more or less in all random forms of art.

That being said, this piece is indeed very musical. Metered and temporized, it reads like notes on a live-music performance. Subtitles perhaps to an improvisation session.

The middle line
>>is taken necessarily
reminds me of Monty Python again:

Half a bee
-philosophically-
must, ipso facto, half not be
but can a bee
be said to be
,vis-a-vis,
it's entity?

Thanks a lot for the hommage, buddy! I'm honoured. And mighty pleased

Greetz'n'Hugz

Jo (Just)

--
Bork! Bork! Bork!
(-Swedish Chef)